Posted
7:44 AM
by freelance radical
HERE IT IS:
MY
SWINE-FLU
SURVIVAL KIT! This handy-dandy, brand-new
survival kit contains the following
extremely useful items:
1
A complete explanation of why all those papermasks everybody is selling and buying and wearing, are completely useless and might even be dangerous, since they actually trap other people's infectious organisms, and keep them right where you will repeatedly breathe them into your system.
2
A nifty, pig-shaped notebook, in which you can keep a record of all those cowardly officials who immediately dumped a perfect reality-name, and who are now driving all of us crazy with speeches about the "H1N1"......which they can't even pronounce and you'd think that they'd burst out laughing when they're saying it, don't you?
3
A beautiful, pig-shaped dartboard that shows all the "farms" around the world, where pigs are being kept in giant pools filled with their own excrement, and where a gazillion flies congregate in perfect harmony.
4
Your very own, adorable little clay piggy bank - which we now call swiney-bank!
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